Please let me know where the party is at... coz i'm gonna be there!

G'day everyone....yes fucking take the cliche....it's fun for me!!!I'm bored. I finished uni,now don't know what to do...so i thought i'd blog....to myself no doubt as i don't think anyone reads this no more.

my feet smell bad. so i wear flip flops.

The weather sucks....flip flops bad. Kicked toe on sidewalk...

sorry....i just glanced down at my poor wrinkle dirty dried skin feet....charming eh? i'm a vbery quaint and sophisticated lady....Undeniable.

Just had a preso, it went pretty well. I thought i was gonna be crucified...they were grilling everyone..
gotta go...my crying friend lind ( she says fuck me) is here...i'll be back

Hhahaaha...there was more to that entry besides the title..i hit enter and damn...i suck at this.

Anyway, as i was saying,i'm now in freakin melbourne,freakin freezing me fingers off.This is very painful so you guys better appreciate it.No scrutinizing this entry...AIght??

So yeah,i'm trying to be lighted hearted about everything.It's amazing..overwhelming,exciting,daunting...God,i'm like a cake with endless ingredients to it's mix. I haven't cried, so i guess i'm alright. And i haven't started writing poetry, so again...YIPPEE..I think my mental state is stable. Although there are times i feel empty...and alone...but that's when i write or msg u guys,and then i'm better.I know i'm always gonna be ok with u guys around.I love u all loads.u're all angels, with small horns!!!

Apparently, i don't know much about love at all. I can love friends and family, but when it comes to guys...Well yeah,things with pete didn't work out so. I seem to find fault the minute things get intimate. Pete was the nicest guy i've ever met. He was amazing, we got on so well, and i could just be myself, we clicked..yet i couldn't do it. It's just not the right time i guess, or not the right person. The deeper in the relationship we got, the more i wanted to get out. i don't know. I don't want to think about it. I'm just real angry with myself for hurting such a good person..but i guess it was the best thing to do, rather than let it go on, and hurt him later. I miss him though, alot. This longing to be single, hopefully is because i haven't met the right guy, and not because i'm commitment phobic. And at the moment, i don't believe in it anyway...being alone is heaps more fun, there's no nauseating(how do u spell that?) mushy shit and it's self indulging. Something i've never had before,and i'm gonna hold on to unless 'mr right' comes along....but i'm in no hurry anyway. Meanwhile...bring me men!

So this entry is like an email, it's just i wanted to update all of you without having to mail u all. Ok,back to old fashion blogging..(Lainie style coz she was my GURU)

First Day of Class
Daphne walks into room..
Daphne sees lots of hip n happening people chatting in groups..
Daphne wants to run..
Daphne makes her way to the back of the class and sits alone like a loser...

Inside Daphne's insane mind: I'm such a loser...should i say hi, should i keep this stupid grin on my face so i look approachable,no they are gonna think i'm weird..their looking at me..they must be thinking what a loser...she's sitting alone..

Ok people,i'm not looking for pity,coz i know it's in the dictionary between shit n siflis..Now,Watch how i'm saved:

Tight shirt,italian looking guy(ew): HELOO, my name is ROdoRRigo..
Me: Hi i'm Daphne

Alright,round of applause...she introduced herself!

It's funny how intimidating things are when u think about things in your head for too long...The situation was bad but i made it out to be a trillion times worse. I was so grateful to Rodrigo for introducing himself, and then me to the rest of the class.He's a funny one...but i didn't find it funny when in my friday class i whispered and asked him:

Mua: When's this assignment due..
Rodrigo raises his hand:DAPHNE HAS A QUESTION...I was stunt...i had never met the lecturer before,and it was my first class for that subject..Plus she was talking about something completely different,like in the middle of some explanation.
BUTA!!!!!
Mua: Er,no i don't,..er..sorry i'm new...when is this due?

I proceeded to elbow the Bastard....MalU Sial!!!

anyway...yup the people in my class are easy going and friendly.
Yesterday i went to this cool place called The Chocolate bar...it was pretty trendy and expensive,but the it was cool.It was one of my classmates birthday party.Had a good boogie and chatted with my classmates,getting to know them all a bit better. I had no idea how i'd get back. I'd heard about the night rider bus,and was gonna try to catch it. My Japanese classmate Kaz walked me there coz he stays nearby...It's quite funny coz everyone is drunk at that time of night, and everyone is so loud.I had to ask the bus drivers which one goes to Reservoir and managed to find the right one.I got on and it hit me how cool this place actually is. The NIGHT RIDER had blue lights for ambience..it's like this country is runned by young people who think of things like that.

A group of naturally drunk guys sat behind me and started hollering.And when i didn't pay any attention they were saying...OH she's scared...ME? Scared? of them? I don't think so.I turn around and look at them...

Mua: I ain't scared!
Guys: HOOH hoh..

and then i started talking to them...the usual questions...it was fun.

The great thing about melbourne is that people are always ready to have a chat,random people, about random things...In the train on the way to the city i had a chat with this guy who looked pregnant coz he kept his dog in his jacket.He was actually cycling around with his dog in his 'pouch'...

Innovative way of keeping warm eh?

I'm cold..permenantly.And i feel poor coz all the trendy stuff is expensive.I have to think twice about small thinks like using my mobile phone,buying ciggies and eating out,things i've taken for granted back home. That's why Nadia took me to SAVERS, a thrift shop. That was ok,but most things were thrown out during the 80's i suppose...so i hardly bought anything.

Which of course bugged Nadia...man...i feel like i'm standing on thin ice around her...every small thing bugs her so i try to stay out of her way,and when i do, i still get in trouble. Example, yesterday we're hanging up laundry, and she's like i'll do my own coz i'm fussy..So today i wanted to take ours in,but i thought,better not take hers just in case i put it in the wrong place or dirty it. So i left mine up as well,thinking we'd do it together when she gets back. She storms in and is like "i can't believe you didn't take in the laundry". When i tried to explain,she's like yeah whatever...

What the hell??

It's like you can't win with this woman. She's harsh, but i know most of the time she doesn't mean it. She's been real helpful though, amazingly helpful. So i know she means well. So i'm not really bugged...i just hope things work out well.

Oh, there are so many things to tell but i'm just not concentrating..I'll write later...

Here's the thing about the boys and i...we make plans,and break em all the time...So it's no fucking suprise that after we agreed on going to pangkor...we ended up in Perhentian Island (Stop Island ?)

Outside Shabri's mini mart, Ipoh Garden East,picking up some snacks for our small 1 1/2 hour journey:

Daph: I ain't going to pangkor..i know the curve of the beach like the back of my hand.Lets go somewhere new....lets go to perhentian or tioman..

Jaya's eyes start to sparkle.

Twins look confused...nothing new. Nessa too, nothing new again!!

Meghan: NO! Be practical,we gotta be back on Sunday...How about Penang?

Jaya,Twins and Daph in unison : NO!

Meghan's been love struck you see, and was simply trying to drag us there so that he could get some lovin from his island girl...

And so after a loud debate, we opted for Perhentian..hhaha..i love getting my way! Drove to the traffic lights...

Green...Er, Which way?

Thanks to a few phone calls, we gathered some rough info on the direction we had to head in..

AND THEY'RE OFF!!BEEPPPPPPPPPPpppppppppppppp

We weren't detered by fact that it would take 6 hours, or the fact that we didn't know the way, nor that there were 6 of us to be squashed into SpeeDy Gonzales Yeo (my kelisa). With spirits high( only because we didn't know any better), with headed off into the great unknown like true adventurers....Some idiot managed to quote someone famous....Ah, my moment of wisdom...

"IT IS NOT SO MUCH ABOUT THE DESTINATION, BUT THE JOURNEY THAT TAKES YOU THERE"

If only we knew what we were getting ourselves into..it was all good at first...

It was a beautiful journey, through many kampungs (villages), with cool green jungle on both sides, a bit of rain, a bit of sun, lots of sing along songs like OOo Baby i love your way, Bad to the bone,I believe in a thing called love, Kill Bill's I'm Blue, Hey girl, Hey Boy... etc. It was almost as if we weren't 6 in a kelisa, and all 56kg's of NEssa wasn't on my lap.

That didn't last very long..she just became heavier and heavier,thank God for the constant swapping..

It was definitely a wicked road trip...we went past the vast Lake Banding. There was an island in the middle that we had to cross and come out from on two identical looking bridges..

Daph: Aren't we on the same bridge?Just different side of the road?
Meghan: stupid fuck, we'd be going back if this was the same one...
Daph: I dunno...it looks the same..

Then there was the need for speed tunnel...

Then there was the sign for chicken's crossing

Than there was the sign for slightly bigger ELEPHANTs Crossing...
at which point i could contain my excitement no longer..so i did what i do best, stuck my head out the window, looking for them, and when i didn't see any,i called out to my fellow mamals...ELEPHANTES?EleFanTES??

It was all a joke of course but there's something very appealing about sticking your head out the window of a speeding car, screaming at the top of your lungs and letting the wind pound your face till it's all tingly even when when you're back inside... HIGHLY RECOMMENDED...

We stopped in some pretty rural areas to top up on fuel and food..Getting out of the car was always tricky, we were all tangled up in the back seat, people might have thought we were a mini mobile orgy.

One stop was on top off a hill, at a look out point, where only a few lonely truckers stopped and where they advertised Tongkat Ali ( herbal version of Viagra) like it was the best drug ever...who they kidding? E clearly is,second to el WEEDo. The photo's in the ad's were disturbing,old wrinkly men smiling with their Tongkat Ali Coffee..yucks...

But gross posters aside, it was a pleasant rest area overlooking a valley,where the weather was ,as Navin put it in his English accent:

"like a chilly London afternoon"

and the people were nice..The burger woman even recognised us on the way home. Probably coz we were notably united,in the smallest ways...

Ordering drinks:
Jaya: warm Milo
B. Woman : ok 1 milo
Navin: Milo
B. Woman : ok 2 milo
Arvin: Er, Milo
Nessa: Er.....Milo
Daph: I can't decide, nescafe...no no...make that a milo
Meghan: Kak bagi 6 milo..

Needless to say we all had burgers to keep the tradition going.

Burger woman on the way back commented:

' Well you guys were alot chirpier on the way there' ; )

No shit, that was before booze, weed, sun and an extra 3 hours in the car with me and nessa farting on each other. I love my sister, but i don't love her that much...it was full on, with vibration too...but it's all good!!MUahhahahhaha...i got my turn.

MINI INTERCEPTION
Yes boys, chicks fart...and while we're on the topic...we shit, burp, have smelly feet, hairy armpits...the reality is cruel..
______________________________________________________

That's why my guy friends are the best. They know this...they've been trained..so any ladies wanna get with any of them? I'm sure they'll be real grateful,er.. i mean happy..They are AMOGES!!!(read Nessa's blog to find out more about this multiple purpose word, and SA, i believe it was spelt this way!)

Oh....and then there was a sign...

5 KM THAILAND

Daph: TURN TURN TURN
Navin: Yes
Meghan aka ASSY DRIVER : NO!!
DAPH: Damn it...if only i were taller,and entitled to drive, we'd be headin to Thailand, and you guys would be enjoying the hollers of ' 10 dollar i give you good time!' Bloody practical people!

Who would have guessed that fucking thailand was nearer than our destination.The thought of going to thailand did briefly cross my mind outside Shabri's mini mart, but i kept it quiet after coming to the conclusion that none of them had border passes and i thought it was further. If only my grasp of Malaysian geography was better,if only i had paid attention in Puan Teh's classes, i would have opened my mouth and taken an extra 20 mins getting everyone border passes....

So we passed the sign board....all eyes remained fixated on it, even a hundred meters after...hopes shattered as we saw it fade into the distance...(oh, the drama)

so close yet so far..it was painful.Painful because i so wanted one last thailand experience before i leave this region, which is Thursday.

But in the true spirit of fun loving spontaneous people, we all were still excited to be going to Perhentian..

And boy was it worth it! The water was perfect, everything was. It was like a chilled out version of Thailand...white folks everywhere, little wooden huts for accomodation, not so much partying unfortunately,but hey, if you had cash...it was definitely good enough.

We arrived like a bunch of hill billy's....over excited about everything. It was hard not to be..I could just hear the other tourists who were already there saying under their breath....

Bloody newcomers...disturbing the peace..

Bet they did the same! Managed to find a hut for 25 bucks a night..
2 single beds~ 6 people...yeah..we'd manage,no probs.

Unsurprisingly, the following two nights we spent there involved alot of bickering, elbowing, kicking, and me eventually sleeping on the floor. Saw that coming...absolutely no complains...

After dumping our bags, we did a baywatch run into the crystal clear waters, and stayed there till nightfall,then we skinny dipped underneath the stars..

I LOVE SKINNY DIPPING.....it's liberating.

The guys were a bit worried that fish would come and bite their peckers off..No big lost there guys...: )

Here, have more alcohol for balls...yes,the drinking had begun. Dinner was on the sand, on little short candle lit tables. Over dinner, the conversation turned to El WEEDo..maybe coz Uncle BOB was playing in the background everywhere...Wouldn't it be nice??....

Jaya: I have a small amount.

That took care of dessert..And a few hours later, the crew was DNS, Drunk N Stoned

Navin:Look at the ripples in the sand...doesn't it look like finger prints?
Daph: Yeah, God put his fingerprints on earth, as like a copy right..so that other Gods can't duplicate it..Which means maybe other planets have different Gods...like Mars would have a different GOd, and Pluto would have their own God. And each planet is has their on form of life that's like no other, coz it's all copy righted...
Navin: What???
Daph: huh? It makes sense...
Navin: YOu're talking crap..
Daph: It made sense...never mind


Running on the beach, i vaguely see Jaya sticking his leg out to trip me..Jamming the breaks i shout:

' No macha, No macha, NO!'

Bang!!.i somehow fell backwards on my butt...although i'm very aware that i was suppose to fall forwards.HMMM...it's a mystery.

So that disgusto mundo shower they insisted i had to take (bloody clean metrosexuals ! ) was a waste of time coz i got sand everywhere anyway.I opted for no shower the next day...Aahh..That's the way to go.

The following day was one flawless day, i felt so lucky. The sun was shinning , water shimmering, the eagle was flying...actually it wasn't...it was sitting on the beach.Apparently it broke it's wing and has become a permanent resident, a bit off a shame, but he seems to like showing off and posing for the cameras. Nevertheless,even for the flightless eagle, Life was GOOD. Couldn't get any better, and i just felt really grateful. So i made the mistake of telling the boys my slightly deep emotions....and of course got a lot of flak for that..

Jaya(immitating me): Oh, boys thank you for coming with me.It's so beautiful..Boooo hooo...

Hmmm,i forget sometimes that i'm travelling with the boys, and keeping their company means strictly no mentioning anything slightly mushy...OR YOU WILL PAY...coz small elephants don't forget...HAHAHA..serve you boys right.

And it also means that the cheesy fun sounds of Bananarama 'Love in the first degree' and Barry Manilow ' Copacabana' are no where to be heard....Damn...JOSIE? RACHEL?? LAINES?? RISHA??? the fuckers skipped our anthems....disPECKERble!!(geddit? CHEESY TACO STRIKES AGAIN.

Anyways, fell off me chair watching Arvin try to sit in his after nessa had pulled it away. He was busy impersonating someone, got up and did some candid dance....and the sat right down into the ground!!DUMB CLONE!

Next night i was so up for a party, all tanned up and happy....BUT dammit, we were out of funds. We had rationed just enough for the trip back and dinner, and a little booze..but nessa and i had decided to sneak a banana milkshake and fried rice while the boys were playing footie.

NAvin: If you two didn't go overspend, we'd have enough for a beer!
Daph: But we were hungry....u guys ate our lunch..

but i knew right then that had this been survivor,i would have been voted out . And i seriously regretted it myself...

Also, that wouldn't have happened if they had allowed Nessa to play footie with them. We both did initially and had a great laugh, Jaya copped one in the balls..Then these big boys came, so i knew they were gonna play seriously. Nessa being the dumb fuck she insisted on playing..

Nessa: Can i play..?
Jaya : Sure
Navin: Just stand a bit further back
Arvin: More
Meghan: Ok,now you stand there..

Nessa was behind the goal post, outside of playing grounds of course but she didn't even realise it...so she stood there for quite a while before realising that she wasn't in the game, unless of course she were a linesman...hahhaha

Failing to be included in football,we went to spend money on food..

And that's how we were short for the night. But we did have a great dinner on a wooden balcony, with pretty friendly people...We finished our booze (THANKS LAINIE FOR THE BOOZE!!!) and were already eyeing the EL GRASSO at the sitting area...The hunt was over...we had found some...now..to ask.

When it came to asking, i have no idea why we were so hesistant and waited so long..especially since throughout the day we had comtemplated plans and practiced the line ' Do you have any weed on you?' numerous times.

Some of the plans the boys wanted to ochestrate that were not put into action were..

Jaya: Daphne, you see that guy with Rasta Hair....ok..you go over there and suck his dick..then ask the magic question...

Say it with me people....

Do you have any weed on you?(don't forget the british accent)

It started Raining..so plan two was that Navin was gonna pretend to get struck by lightning..and in his dying seconds, request some weed..He actually jumped in the air, shaking like he had be electrocuted..and landed in the water...It was all very gay looking...hahahaha..like his finger nails that Nessa had painted on the way there...and his arm where i had written i love PENIS after he'd accepted the membership of the PEN 15 club (PEN15 = PENIS)

Other tactics were....

Navin: Nessa, that guy is checking out your ass...go ask him.

or sometimes we would sing...

'A friend in need is a friend in deed, a friend with weed is better'

notoriously loud...and once the beacon had been sent....we'd stick our heads up....looking for anyone who would have looked up in interest..Boris..We decided to name him boris...anyone who looked suspiciously guilty off having weed and not sharing.they were all named Boris...

We did ask some locals,but everyone was very...no no no about it...BUt finally, here at dinner, we had found BORIS...it was AMOGES!!!

Yes, BORIS was the man....he played the guitar,sang pink floyd and gave us....EL WEEDO..Hahaha...all that hard work paid off..Apparently, they don't sell it, but just give it out to whoever asks, very love all....

Haha...i predict, i see... u hard core weeders flocking to Perhentian now..actually...no..because nobody reads my blog...hahaahaha..oh well...SERVE YOU RIGHT AR! (as chinaman as possible)

I'm still abit bummed coz after dinner, there was a bar playing great music, and people actually finally dancing...we were asleep but i hate to miss a good party so i woke everyone up to go check it out....

YOU're MY Brown Eyed GIRL!!

Daph:I wanna dance !!!i wanna dance!!!Everyone get ready to go...hang on...no money...

So i proceeded to empty out all bags, wallets...everything..i counted 5 cent coins as well..We had RM 7.10 in coins...we were short of 90 cents...bugger!!That would buy 1 beer..Oh well...luckily the music died down soon after so didn't feel like i was missing out..

So us lucky poor folks still managed to have a great time at STOP ISLAND.Anywhere would have done it with the beautiful people i was with, but i have to say...I'm glad it was PERHENTIAN, the second superb malaysian island i been to besides REDANG....GO see what i mean people, it's a waste if you don't...this country has so much to offer...and 6 hours isn't that bad.We survived..

PLUS,there's plenty of road kill on the way to keep you entertained cats, dogs,goats, monitor lizards, monkeys,cows..Yup...we saw a huge bull, all four legs up in the air, stiff as hell...Imagine what a great post card pic that would have made....