August 1st, 2004

Hhahaaha...there was more to that entry besides the title..i hit enter and damn...i suck at this.

Anyway, as i was saying,i'm now in freakin melbourne,freakin freezing me fingers off.This is very painful so you guys better appreciate it.No scrutinizing this entry...AIght??

So yeah,i'm trying to be lighted hearted about everything.It's amazing..overwhelming,exciting,daunting...God,i'm like a cake with endless ingredients to it's mix. I haven't cried, so i guess i'm alright. And i haven't started writing poetry, so again...YIPPEE..I think my mental state is stable. Although there are times i feel empty...and alone...but that's when i write or msg u guys,and then i'm better.I know i'm always gonna be ok with u guys around.I love u all loads.u're all angels, with small horns!!!

Apparently, i don't know much about love at all. I can love friends and family, but when it comes to guys...Well yeah,things with pete didn't work out so. I seem to find fault the minute things get intimate. Pete was the nicest guy i've ever met. He was amazing, we got on so well, and i could just be myself, we clicked..yet i couldn't do it. It's just not the right time i guess, or not the right person. The deeper in the relationship we got, the more i wanted to get out. i don't know. I don't want to think about it. I'm just real angry with myself for hurting such a good person..but i guess it was the best thing to do, rather than let it go on, and hurt him later. I miss him though, alot. This longing to be single, hopefully is because i haven't met the right guy, and not because i'm commitment phobic. And at the moment, i don't believe in it anyway...being alone is heaps more fun, there's no nauseating(how do u spell that?) mushy shit and it's self indulging. Something i've never had before,and i'm gonna hold on to unless 'mr right' comes along....but i'm in no hurry anyway. Meanwhile...bring me men!

So this entry is like an email, it's just i wanted to update all of you without having to mail u all. Ok,back to old fashion blogging..(Lainie style coz she was my GURU)

First Day of Class
Daphne walks into room..
Daphne sees lots of hip n happening people chatting in groups..
Daphne wants to run..
Daphne makes her way to the back of the class and sits alone like a loser...

Inside Daphne's insane mind: I'm such a loser...should i say hi, should i keep this stupid grin on my face so i look approachable,no they are gonna think i'm weird..their looking at me..they must be thinking what a loser...she's sitting alone..

Ok people,i'm not looking for pity,coz i know it's in the dictionary between shit n siflis..Now,Watch how i'm saved:

Tight shirt,italian looking guy(ew): HELOO, my name is ROdoRRigo..
Me: Hi i'm Daphne

Alright,round of applause...she introduced herself!

It's funny how intimidating things are when u think about things in your head for too long...The situation was bad but i made it out to be a trillion times worse. I was so grateful to Rodrigo for introducing himself, and then me to the rest of the class.He's a funny one...but i didn't find it funny when in my friday class i whispered and asked him:

Mua: When's this assignment due..
Rodrigo raises his hand:DAPHNE HAS A QUESTION...I was stunt...i had never met the lecturer before,and it was my first class for that subject..Plus she was talking about something completely different,like in the middle of some explanation.
BUTA!!!!!
Mua: Er,no i don't,..er..sorry i'm new...when is this due?

I proceeded to elbow the Bastard....MalU Sial!!!

anyway...yup the people in my class are easy going and friendly.
Yesterday i went to this cool place called The Chocolate bar...it was pretty trendy and expensive,but the it was cool.It was one of my classmates birthday party.Had a good boogie and chatted with my classmates,getting to know them all a bit better. I had no idea how i'd get back. I'd heard about the night rider bus,and was gonna try to catch it. My Japanese classmate Kaz walked me there coz he stays nearby...It's quite funny coz everyone is drunk at that time of night, and everyone is so loud.I had to ask the bus drivers which one goes to Reservoir and managed to find the right one.I got on and it hit me how cool this place actually is. The NIGHT RIDER had blue lights for ambience..it's like this country is runned by young people who think of things like that.

A group of naturally drunk guys sat behind me and started hollering.And when i didn't pay any attention they were saying...OH she's scared...ME? Scared? of them? I don't think so.I turn around and look at them...

Mua: I ain't scared!
Guys: HOOH hoh..

and then i started talking to them...the usual questions...it was fun.

The great thing about melbourne is that people are always ready to have a chat,random people, about random things...In the train on the way to the city i had a chat with this guy who looked pregnant coz he kept his dog in his jacket.He was actually cycling around with his dog in his 'pouch'...

Innovative way of keeping warm eh?

I'm cold..permenantly.And i feel poor coz all the trendy stuff is expensive.I have to think twice about small thinks like using my mobile phone,buying ciggies and eating out,things i've taken for granted back home. That's why Nadia took me to SAVERS, a thrift shop. That was ok,but most things were thrown out during the 80's i suppose...so i hardly bought anything.

Which of course bugged Nadia...man...i feel like i'm standing on thin ice around her...every small thing bugs her so i try to stay out of her way,and when i do, i still get in trouble. Example, yesterday we're hanging up laundry, and she's like i'll do my own coz i'm fussy..So today i wanted to take ours in,but i thought,better not take hers just in case i put it in the wrong place or dirty it. So i left mine up as well,thinking we'd do it together when she gets back. She storms in and is like "i can't believe you didn't take in the laundry". When i tried to explain,she's like yeah whatever...

What the hell??

It's like you can't win with this woman. She's harsh, but i know most of the time she doesn't mean it. She's been real helpful though, amazingly helpful. So i know she means well. So i'm not really bugged...i just hope things work out well.

Oh, there are so many things to tell but i'm just not concentrating..I'll write later...